Evenin' all. (Police jokes)

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Ron Attwood
Chief Master Sergeant
Posts: 3225
Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Evenin' all. (Police jokes)

Post by Ron Attwood »

Yesterday, a shop assistant bravely fought off a robber with his labelling gun.
A police spokesman said that they are now looking for a robber with a price on his head!

A Prison Van has collided with a cement mixer.
Police say they are hunting for six hardened criminals.

Policeman – “And why didn’t you report the theft of your credit card?”.
Me – “The thief was spending less than my wife!”.
Policeman - “So why are you reporting it now?”.
Me – “I think the thief’s wife has started using it!”.

A thief stole a combine harvester but, fell into it whilst trying to evade arrest.
A police spokesman said the thief is due to be baled shortly.

The police came to my house tonight holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, "Yes.".
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus.".
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality."


A drunk wakes up in a police cell on New Year’s Eve and asks the first officer he sees, "Why am I here?".
The Officer replies, "For drinking."
"Great!" slurs the man. "When do we start?".

I rang the police because ridiculous people were letting off Bonfire Night fireworks as early as September. My cat was so scared, it ran up the Christmas Tree!
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.

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Tug002
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2449
Joined: 25 Oct 2013, 11:40
Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH

Re: Evenin' all. (Police jokes)

Post by Tug002 »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Keep smiling
Tug :)

Tomas Linnet
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2286
Joined: 05 Nov 2013, 10:48
Location: Oksboel, Denmark

Re: Evenin' all. (Police jokes)

Post by Tomas Linnet »

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Kind Regards
Tomas

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Ron Attwood
Chief Master Sergeant
Posts: 3225
Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Re: Evenin' all. (Police jokes)

Post by Ron Attwood »

Some more...

I got pulled over by the police. He came to the window and said “Papers ...”
I said – “Scissors! I win!”- and drove off.
He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!

Two priests are out driving one day, when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The officer approaches the priests’ vehicle and says to the driver, "Sorry to pull you over Father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters".
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says, "Alright officer, we'll do it". (Oh dear! :shock: )

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18-storey nightclub was employed at the establishment, but was not a bouncer.

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
The desk sergeant replied, "You will get your chance in Court."
The man replied, "No, no no. I just want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I have been trying to do that for years."
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.

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Tug002
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2449
Joined: 25 Oct 2013, 11:40
Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH

Re: Evenin' all. (Police jokes)

Post by Tug002 »

:lol: :lol: Thanks for the laugh's :lol: :lol:

Keep smiling
Tug :)

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