Now that I'm Getting Older'

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Tug002
Senior Master Sergeant
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Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by Tug002 »

Now that I'm Getting Older'




Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.


I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.


I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.


I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I-ate a pizza! Are you happy now?


I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.


I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.


Senility has been a smooth transition for me.


Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside
they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.


I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.


A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.


I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.


Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.


It’s weird being the same age as old people.


When I was a kid I wanted to be older...this is not what I expected.


Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.


It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.


Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me :
To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.


Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember...Don’t sing!


I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.


So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?


I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.


You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.


We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Keep smiling
Tug :)

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ClipperLuna
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Location: KPUW

Re: Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by ClipperLuna »

:lol: Good mixture of groaners and "that's actually kinda true" ones in there. Thanks Tug!

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cristi.neagu
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Joined: 22 Apr 2017, 14:53
Location: Coventry, UK

Re: Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by cristi.neagu »

I am definitely stealing some of these.

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Ron Attwood
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Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Re: Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by Ron Attwood »

cristi.neagu wrote: 14 Apr 2021, 15:34 I am definitely stealing some of these.
You don't have to steal them, they're free. :D
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.

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wblackret
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Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 10:12
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, KAGC, KFWQ

Re: Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by wblackret »

This made me chuckle. My wife and I are active in caring for her elderly parents (92 & 85). It’s comical, yet at times frustrating to see how they deal with aging, dementia etc. When one does something that isn’t quite correct, they just blame the other. It’s funny but sad too.

My grandmother lived to the age of 97. She was a proud woman that rarely ever admitted she did not remember something. In fact she had a little saying to cover her forgetfulness, “You’ll have to ask someone who knows better than me.”

At age 65, it’s amazing the things that entertain me, this thread sure did. Thanks Tug!

By the way Ron have you seen any of my West Virginia relatives?
Bill Black

C172,C182,250 Comanche,J3 Cub,P-40,Bonanza
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Ron Attwood
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Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Re: Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by Ron Attwood »

wblackret wrote: 15 Apr 2021, 00:09 By the way Ron have you seen any of my West Virginia relatives?
Ah don't rightly reckon ah have. Do they play banjos?
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.

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wblackret
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Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 10:12
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, KAGC, KFWQ

Re: Now that I'm Getting Older'

Post by wblackret »

Ron Attwood wrote: 15 Apr 2021, 12:15
wblackret wrote: 15 Apr 2021, 00:09 By the way Ron have you seen any of my West Virginia relatives?

Ah don't rightly reckon ah have. Do they play banjos?
Maw use ta pick on da banjo while Paw whittled her new false teeth outsa piece a ole knotty pine. Paw was a gettin to many splinters in his lips when he was a kissin hur, for sure!
Bill Black

C172,C182,250 Comanche,J3 Cub,P-40,Bonanza
MSFS, P3Dv4.5
JETLINE GT2
W10,Z390 PRO MB,9TH GEN I7 9700K 4.9 GHZ (OC),KRAKEN M22 120 MHZ CPU LC,32 GB CORSAIR VENGEANCE 3200 GHZ RAM, EVGA 8 GB RTX 2070 SUPER,850 WATT CORSAIR PS,2TB CORSAIR SSD.

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