1 Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent..
2 A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3 A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
3 A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
4 Did you hear about the man in France who jumped on the bridge? He was in Sein.
5 A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6 Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7 "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8 Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9 An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!
Just in case...
Re: Just in case...
Oh dear!
- Ron Attwood
- Chief Master Sergeant
- Posts: 3225
- Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
- Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK
Re: Just in case...
Make some noise for the guy. He's got guts.
Loved 'em.
Loved 'em.
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.
-
- A2A Major
- Posts: 1177
- Joined: 01 Jun 2012, 18:02
Re: Just in case...
Classy jokes... the kayak one especially
Re: Just in case...
Two flies landed on a screen door. One fly said he really wanted to get on the other side of the screen. The other fly said, "Don't strain yourself!"
I think of this whenever I ride my motorcycle over one of those bridges with a metal deck.
Seeya
ATB
I think of this whenever I ride my motorcycle over one of those bridges with a metal deck.
Seeya
ATB
Re: Just in case...
Couldn't resist. Normally, this kind of thing doesn't keep my attention span for long, but these did, so I thought I'd share.
- Tug002
- Senior Master Sergeant
- Posts: 2449
- Joined: 25 Oct 2013, 11:40
- Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH
Re: Just in case...
I enjoyed them
Keep smiling
Tug
Keep smiling
Tug
Re: Just in case...
Flight Simmer since 1983. PP ASEL IR Tailwheel
N28021 1979 Super Viking 17-30A
N28021 1979 Super Viking 17-30A
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