If you haven't heard these before....

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Ron Attwood
Chief Master Sergeant
Posts: 3225
Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Ron Attwood »

Where the hell have you been? :shock: If you have heard them before...Pretend you haven't :D

Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu - you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday,
.....but couldn't find any.

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
I don't know and don't really care.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant,
....but then I changed my mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought:
“That’s the last thing I need!”

Need an ark?
I Noah guy.

You’re not completely useless,
.....you can always serve as a bad example.

I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand, I’m okay.

Don't spell part backwards.
It's a trap.

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and he got hell.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero.
Thanks for nothing!


Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
Dad: "No sun.”
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.

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ClipperLuna
Technical Sergeant
Posts: 753
Joined: 23 May 2014, 12:50
Location: KPUW

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by ClipperLuna »

Thanks Ron, those are groaners but they still made me smile. :lol:

Tomas Linnet
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2286
Joined: 05 Nov 2013, 10:48
Location: Oksboel, Denmark

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Tomas Linnet »

:| :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Kind Regards
Tomas

Sim: FSX SE
Accu-Sim aircraft in my hangar:
C172, C182, P51 Civ, P51 Mil, B17, Spitfire, P47, B377 COTS,
J3 Cub, T6, Connie, P-40, V35B
A2A Accu-Sim Avro Lancaster Loading:............0.000003% complete, please wait.

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Killratio
A2A Spitfire Crew Chief
Posts: 5785
Joined: 29 Jul 2008, 23:41
Location: The South West of the large island off the north coast of Tasmania
Contact:

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Killratio »

I have to go for a little lie down now :) :) :)
<Sent from my 1988 Sony Walkman with Dolby Noise Reduction and 24" earphone cord extension>


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Dogsbody55
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 1835
Joined: 26 Aug 2013, 22:03
Location: Perth, W. Aust

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Dogsbody55 »

Oh dear, oh dear...... :lol: :lol:


Cheers,
Mike
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Tug002
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2449
Joined: 25 Oct 2013, 11:40
Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Tug002 »

:lol: :shock: :o :( :P :roll:

Keep smiling
Tug :)

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Kodiak73
Airman First Class
Posts: 97
Joined: 28 May 2012, 15:20

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Kodiak73 »

:D :D :D , good ones Ron :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Dave S
Remember ... its better to break ground and fly into the wind than to break wind and fly into the ground !!
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Kodiak73
Airman First Class
Posts: 97
Joined: 28 May 2012, 15:20

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Kodiak73 »

:D :D :D , good ones Ron :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Dave S
Remember ... its better to break ground and fly into the wind than to break wind and fly into the ground !!
ImageImageImageImageImage

Dogsbody55
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 1835
Joined: 26 Aug 2013, 22:03
Location: Perth, W. Aust

Re: If you haven't heard these before....

Post by Dogsbody55 »

Ron Attwood wrote: 16 May 2022, 10:38 Where the hell have you been? :shock: If you have heard them before...Pretend you haven't :D

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
:roll: :roll: :roll:

If I may, to lose one case is unfortunate, but to lose two cases is downright careless.



Cheers,
Mike
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